7 things

I made the mistake of reading ECL's cake blog earlier today and suddenly became "morally" provoked to write 7 things about myself that might not be widely known. Ok ECL, but also, I will make you pay for this.

Measuring things does not work for me. I once gave away a bread machine because I failed at getting the thing to make bread. I just wouldn't measure the ingredients (unless eyeballing stuff is measuring). Maybe it is just that I won't follow directions.

Which brings me to: I almost never open owners' manuals for shit I buy. And even when I do, I don't usually do what the manual tells me to do anyway. I think this is because manuals are engineered by engineers, and my daddy told me that engineers are, well, poorly acclimated to real life scenarios (my wording). I figure I am pretty well adjusted to real life scenarios, so give me the damn food processor (camera, wood splitter, welder, blow-dart gun assembly ) and I'll figure it out myself.

I love potato chips. Goddamn it.

I don't want to have children. I was listening to the BBC's World Have Your Say the other day on my way up to the Farm when they started discussing how it is that people come to decide they'd rather not have a bunch of kids to let run amok in restaurants. This total moron, Lydia, from MN, got on the radio and asserted that people who choose not to have kids are just plain selfish. She went on to prattle about how you can have your selfish time for a few years when you are young, but it doesn't need to last decades, and that it is selfish to have other things in life be a priority. I'm sitting in my car thinking, Lydia, who exactly is suffering from this selfishness? Unborn babies nobody ever thought of? And Lydia, why is it selfish to devote one's life to something other than raising some kids in a world that is perpetually at war, a world that is burning up under the sun, a world that MIGHT NOT KEEP ON SUPPORTING HUMAN LIFE LYDIA and then she started in in how selfish it is when people just have one kid, because then that kid can never know what it is to have a sister or a brother. I was about to get inside my radio and find Lydia so I could kick her ass for her but then I arrived on the farm and the sun was shining and it was cool AND sunny so I got distracted. Lydia, the stupid whore, will get her comeuppance.
I am not interested in being a parent. Perhaps my life will lack a certain richness, but it is one I will not miss. Just looking at the damage I did to my own parents is enough to scare me off but good.

I have a secret guilty pleasure thing going on with Days Of Our Lives. I only watch it now and again, but if I am around the house at 3, you know I'm watching Sami wish she was really with EJ instead of Lucas even though EJ raped Sami and is now trying to get her unborn baby's stem cells to help Stefano not die. Now that's selfish.

I am considering hiring a hypnotherapist to help me erase the 80's from my memory.

For a long time I could not bring myself to eat pizza because I was so sick of pizza due to a job I had that was all about making pizza. Also the pizza I made was shitty pizza, because of corporate intervention. I am over that now, and have reintroduced pizza into my diet.

the end.