Monday, October 02, 2006

Schiesthund!

Cooper's been in the family now for 9 days. Much has changed. He now uses our home as his vast and very posh toilet maybe once daily. He barks, whines, or bites when he wants to go out.
He is bigger! I'm not sure how much bigger technically, but he is heavier to carry outside, (the poor thing won't go down the three stairs in the garage) and when he comes to jump in my lap and woo me with little bites and sweet nothings, he fits less. We are forging that intricate bond now, that thing in the air that I have been missing so much.
Alas, at least once per day, the bjelkier loses his damn mind and turns into a berzerker christmas toy from hell. His little button nose and his two eyes made out of coal become apertures of his bloodlust. His bark is an ear-piercing screech and he has teeth made out of reinforced steel which are sharpened with a diamond.
So far we have had mediocre success distracting him with his blue koala bear toy, but we are stocking tourniquets.
Pray for us.

6 comments:

evil cake lady said...

maybe he doesn't like koala bears?

Sam Artman said...

All in all, though, you have to admit that he is quite a lovely boy. At least I think so. I am glad and happy to know him.

Oh, and Zetta? Will you please fix the link to my blog. http://brainlumber.blogspot.com.

Thanks,

Jimmysam

Jason said...

Apertures of bloodlust. That's worth tuning in for.

Voix said...

I, um, guess I just don't understand why you would want such a creature in your home. You got him on purpose?

Ugh. Maybe I'm just not a dog person.

zetta said...

Voix, will you LOOK at him?? You're busting my balls here.

Anonymous said...

As an owner of a 3 year old samoyed - a few words or advice. Apparently samoyeds mature physically at 2 years and mentally at 4 years of age. I have a year to go, and its not looking good. We got Bear at 2 1/2 years and his previous owners taught him to sit and shake a paw. He does know his name and comes when called, but when he decides to bolt, nothing works. Can't tell you how many times I have had to run after him. But his handsome looks out weigh all the other stuff. Hang in there, things will improve one day.

Rocky our 15 year old sammy was put to sleep last June. We got him at age 7 and he was a fine, fine dog.

So for now, I love the talking, the nuzzling with a very wet nose, those paws and the soft ears. I can't imagine life without a samoyed.

My blog - sparkysshiftreport.wordpress.com