I have been trying for years to grow a grown up style moustache and beard.
Why do I always look 27 going on 14?
Love always,
Mark
Well, Mark, Maybe it is your youngish DNA. I am well over my prime and still get carded during my daily trips to the liquor store for Maddog 20/20.
I have no short-term answers to your problem, but there are a few things that can be done to ensure your aging process will make you appear as old as you are. Smoke alot. Go to the tanning salon. Eat nothing but salt and grease and processed foods. Sit on your ass. Drive everywhere. Get some lead paint and paint your house with it. Coffee--gallons. Get bitter and stay that way (good for wrinkles and frown lines). Oh! I almost forgot--methamphetamine will age you beyond your wildest imaginings in a few short months!
As for your poor showing of facial hair? Get over it, my good man.
2 comments:
Brillant response. Here's my advice question:
Dear Zetta,
Why do I always go after friggin' wacked women who are either emotionally unavailable and/or psychotic? (Besides the great sex).
-Punkass
Dear Zetta,
This isn't exactly an advice request, but: when I'm getting the cat treats out, they (the cats) always circle me clockwise. So I'm wondering if, did we live in the Southern Hemisphere, would they circle me anti-clockwise? I'm confident you will enlighten me with style and verve.
Love
Thursday's 230
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