How not to get good health care

Do not assume that the person on the phone with you wants to hear all about how sick you are, how you don't have a gallbladder, how many times a day you have diarrhea, what medications you are on, and oh yeah, you have polycystic ovaries, too. Do not tell the person on the phone, who has started already hating you, how much you weigh, and how much you are committed to weighing only that much. Do not, under any circumstances, torture the poor innocent person who has answered your panicked, rambling, TMI and also lame phone call, by talking over her and just not listening at all to what she is saying to you. Because when she is finished getting rid of you, she is going to feel exactly like you just threw up all over her, and her motivation to get you in touch with the help you really do need is going to be zero.