The other day I went to the hipster video store in my hipster neighborhood to rent some DVDs. I usually do not patronize the video store because I have netflix and I love that (no interacting with other human beings). I had to go in there anyway and first of all the guy working there is this short bearded twenty-something frowny guy just frowning away because he is a hipster in Portland and prolly his roommates suck and his stupid band is having ideological conflicts and really, he is gay but can't quite bring himself to admit it. Which is why he is playing Morrisey at a very high level of decibels in the fucking hipster video store. Now, I know I had my couple years in 1988 of listening to ew Morrisey and ugh Bauhaus and the angsty navel gazing that brings on such habits. It is amazing that I did not pick up a heroin addiction or maybe turn into a gothy lingerie wearing pizza slinger, if you think about it.
I perused the documentary selection and considered marching up to the counter and sucker-punching Frowny Frownenheimerstein but I was able to contain myself. When I presented him with my video selection and a smile, he returned the favor with a thousand-yard stare and I knew then that no matter what I did, I was not cool enough, and that I was old.
Lucky for him, I had somewhere else to be on a Friday night. Like in bed, eating pizza and watching movies while VBM was out sleeping in the woods with a bald man.
5 comments:
You MUST check out PLANET EARTH. The single most amazing nature documentary. It is on netflix.
Alas, i don't think I ever was "cool enough" even when i was "cool." Isn't that part of being cool?
??a bald man??
frowny frownenheinmerstien. that is excellent.
Hey. Maybe Mister Unhappy McHipster VonFrownenstein is just buckling under the pressure of how much work it is to be cool in Portland. Ever think of that? What about a little sympathy for what is OBVIOUSLY and INCREDIBLY taxing place to be in his life and show a little compassion for the man? Huh?
*Voix ducks behind counter with beard guy and finds his bong, which then pisses her off, so she calls the cops on him for renting porn to twelve year olds*
Yeah, what bald man, then? And what movie? Nice restraint viz-a-viz yon frownerous hipster. XO Thu230
Oh, Zetta. You're funny.
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