I have always been somewhat of a misanthrope. Which is weird, considering I have chosen to do work which is all about improving the lives of other human beings. Last night I had the great pleasure of spending an evening drinking beers with a chiropractor friend of mine and we got around to talking about why we chose the careers we did. I was about 2.5 beers into the evening, and so I blurted that I wasn't really concerned with helping people, but that what drew me to acupuncture was...magic. Health, well being, and contribution are wonderful perks, but I'm a mercenary. I find I do love people--alot. I do it completely, but I do it on a limited basis. I have relationships with patients that sometimes last years, but in the end, everybody moves on.
Back to my hateful nature.
People are jerks! They leave their grocery carts loose in the parking lot for other people to hit. Too lazy, I suppose, to push the damn things to the grocery cart staging area, located less than 20 feet from where they offloaded bags and bags of processed crap into the SUV they've got parked in a space that says "compact". They drive this gas-guzzling SUV around while talking on the phone. If they cut you off, they pretend they don't see you. It would seem that driving precludes social accountability and I am busy drinking my carmel macchiato, so oops!
Unleashed dogs: your shithead dog, who has no recall or manners, is the one who should be on a leash. I do not care if your stupid whelp is friendly. I'm not, and my giant puppy is in training. Also: your beloved mutt is in danger of being run over by the asshole in the SUV who is drinking corporate coffee, talking on the phone, and careening down your street, you dumbshit.
Your children should not be running amok in restaurants, grocery stores, or libraries. I know you love them, but I think they are rude slobs. Please maintain them. Instead of worrying over internet sex predators and whether or not the School District is giving your kid enough attention, you might want to consider whether or not your kid can exhibit common courtesy and function in groups. Nevermind. You can't, so why should they? Have another coke.
Going to work when you are sick is mean and selfish and stupid. You like Joan in the cubicle next to yours? You just fucked her over by giving her your cold. But you! Are saving your sick days so you can go to Cabo! Good job!
Cut in line, don't heed traffic laws, buy alot of crappy junk made in sweatshops by the poorest people in the world. Dump your trash in the woods. Go to church, cash your checks, spread your colds, sleep around, and do half of it on company time. The thing is, sometimes--other people notice you. Just sayin'.
3 comments:
nice label, chica.
being in this medicine for the magic is probably best as you probably don't suffer from the out-of-control healer bullshit that leaves you wondering if you were a better person you might hve been able to save them from themselves.
Most excellent rant, Zetta. Well done.
Z, you're already packin' heat. Armed and dangerous with a razor sharp wit. "Medic!!"
Post a Comment