Rant: Shooting Dirty Pool

Nothing causes more headache and heartache than failing to tell it like it is and then blaming somebody else for it. Muck it up a little more by throwing in squishy idealism and how much you "believe" in something else unrelated to the thing you lied about in the first place.
Yesterday I was listening to one of my partners angrily trying to figure out why she ends up in situations that turn out like this. She works with a group of intrepid women to make birth a healthier, more joyeous event. I think we expect people in the helping professions to be able to step up to the plate and Do The Right Thing when the opportunity presents itself. That expectation is one that will set you up for disappointment every time. People is people, and when you have fragile egos and money involved, forget your lofty notions of how evolved we are all supposed to be. Proclaiming your belief in abundance after you steal someone else's client? Dirty Pool.
You can't ever expect someone else to be responsible for the behavior that comes from lies you told them. Here's a good one: a few months ago I had a stupid argument with somebody I had reckoned I would love forever. It was about politics. Throughout the years of our friendship, she had insisted that politics was something she didn't care about. She didn't want to know, she said. Then one day she picked a fight with me about politics. After that she didn't talk to me for three weeks. She said she loved me too much to fight with me. And then? She said, did it ever occur to you that I downplayed my feelings on these matters? Well, actually, no. No it didn't.
Because I assumed she was telling me the truth and it didn't occur to me to doubt that. The offer she made me was that I could sit and listen to her expound on how dissatisfied she was with the way I conduct myself as a friend. Maybe then we could, like, pick up where we left off.
I loved you too much to fight with you. I hold you responsible for something I did. I expected you to read my mind and be some other way, except I would not tell you this. I loved you too much to fight with you.
Really.
I'll take a knock down drag out fight any day over bullshit like this. I'll fight dirty, too. But I'll say I'm sorry and try not to do it again. If I make a mistake, I'll tell you I did it and do what I can to make it right. But I don't believe in the sort of abundance that allows me to steal people's business. And there isn't anyone I love too much to fight with.