Friday, February 10, 2006

In which my Dad tells my Mom that she has a big butt

When I was back east visiting my parents last weekend, I noticed all kinds of things about they ways they interact. My Mom is at the height of her career as a backseat driver. My Dad's reaction to her backseat driving is funny: he does what she tells him to do and he is utterly unruffled by it. My Dad has lost a good deal of his hearing, and while he wears hearing aids, they do not help him hear everything. Therefore, there is plenty of shouting.
My Mom:"I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SHOUT ALL THE TIME!!!"
My Dad:" WELL YOU KNOW I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING!!!"
They have been married for almost 40 years now, and they have become adept at Living Peacefully With Your Partner's Neuroses. Well, mostly so.
There was an incident over the weekend that illustrates this perfectly. My sister and I were "thanking" my Mom for giving us both big booties (no matter what they don't get any smaller). My Mom tried to insist that we got it from someone else, and she then declared that she did not have a big butt. I was in the other room, but I heard my dad tell her that yes, in fact, she does have a big butt. My dad is still alive. As far as I know he is not sleeping on the couch or looking for an apartment across town.
I live with a man. He comes with smells and habits and his own unique lifestyle. I found fruit preserves ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR yesterday. Maybe I should check with my Mom and find out just how she would deal with this one.

12 comments:

Sam Artman said...

Hmm. . .VBM never told you about the ancient art of "toast and toot"?

evil cake lady said...

toast and toot...that just aint right.

Sam Artman said...

It is perfectly natural for one to combine morning activities for the maximization of expediency. . .or, umm. . .urgency.

Anonymous said...

Alright Jimmy, that's just wrong. Even if such things do occur, you should not admit to them.

Sam Artman said...

All right, all right already. Maybe this is why I only have two towels, eh Zetta?

evil cake lady said...

two towels? one for toast and one for toot?

Sam Artman said...

It'a kind of a man-thing, ECL. Being a man myself (or, so I TELL myself), I tend to think that "toast and toot" is okay. . .like. . .only having two towels. Let me illustrate by recounting a conversation I had with Zetta.

Zetta: I want to give you some towels.
Me: I have two. That's plenty.
Zetta: What if you get a girlfriend?
Me: She can bring her own towels.
Zetta: That's not okay.

See?

Shawn said...

Well, me being me, and just back from Miami *shameless blog plug* I think we need to revist the topic of this post.
So, why is it, that among women(of European decent) having a big booty is a bad thing? I see it as a fundamentally good thing. Someone please explain the badness of big booty. This will be especially difficult as I was surrounded (not more than 10 hours ago) by Cuban women to whom "bootilicousness" is a point of pride.

zetta said...

Okay punkass. You had better post to your never-posting blog and explain this cuban women thing.

evil cake lady said...

is that why my boyfriend just recently acquired a second towel? it all becomes clear. and I HAVE thought of bringing my own towel.

and punkass, big booty is only a problem when looking for a pair of pants that actually fit.

Anonymous said...

Not to mention we are bombarded with media of all types which emphasize "Thin is in" and as ECL points out, cute clothes are generally cut for non-curvy women. Some stores even cut lines of clothes and label them "curvy", as if it's something out of the ordinary and they're doing us a favor by giving us pants that fit.

Shawn said...

Yes, I have experienced this phenomenon 2nd hand. Many of my women friends have to go on clothing safaris to find something that fits. I never realized the reason women like to shop so much is because they have to work it like a numbers game before they actually find something that fits. I've only met one woman who could actually wear clothes off the rack in most stores and she was too damned skinny. Size 0 or something. I don't get that. Its a conspiracy of the foulest kind and is just the latest chapter of the oppression of women.

Oh, Z I posted. I'm still waiting on the pictures I took. I did not, however, take pictures of booty per se, even I do have my limits of decency.