Taxes: An Allegory

This is not a pretty story. It is a story of grave injustice and Really Shitty Behavior.

Last year I reckoned it was going to be time to abandon my youthful days of filing online with a free copy of Turbo Tax. I had moved into the realm of total self-employ and had hardly a w-2 to my name. I asked around for a referral to a good Tax Guy. Someone I rather trusted gave me a name. If you want access to this name, I will be overjoyed to give it to you. Send an email to the address in my profile, and voila.
I called this guy to make an appointment. He was amicable over the phone. We joked about taxes. It was the beginning of March. Shortly after the much confidence inspiring telephone conversation I had with the Tax Guy, I brought him all my tax information: financial records, ledgers, receipts--all ordered and totaled and in perfect arrangement. I asked him this: "When can I expect this return to be finished?" His reply was certain. "A week to ten," He said, "No problem." I skipped happily home, glad to have the task underway. Plus, I thought, he seems like such a good guy!
Fast forward to April 13. This office has not communicated with me at all. I still don't have my completed return. I called his office to inquire as to when it would be ready, and got an answer like this: "ummm....it is in the pile that is being checked over." And I said, "But it was in that pile two weeks ago." And she said, tersely now, "I'll have Mike call you back." Several hours pass. I called Tax Guy's office again. I was told that he was on another line and would get back to me in moments. Still, he never called. So I called him back. At which point, he came on the line, screaming.
This is what he screamed at me:
"I CAN'T GET ANY FUCKING WORK DONE AROUND HERE WITH YOU CALLING ALL THE TIME!!! I WILL SHRED YOUR RETURN AND YOUR FINANCIAL RECORDS!!!" And then, he hung up. I made VBM drive me to Tax Guy's Office straight away. I was livid. And shaking. And scared that this guy would do me harm. His receptionist was sheepish. I told her I had come for my records and also whatever portion of my return was finished. She handed me my return, which was complete. I gave her a check for the tax prep, and left.
The next day I launched a campaign of complaining to all entities that might care about this type of shenanigans. The Oregon Board of Tax Examiners ( the representative I spoke to was sympathetic, but said he couldn't really do anything about the matter except keep it on file. And he asked if he could use the story of an example of what not to do with customers). The Better Business Bureau mediated the complaint. I wanted a refund and an apology. I got neither, but they never did cash my check. They still send me little quarterly reminders and cute little postcards. It infuriates me every time, and I want to make a little Tax Guy voodoo doll of him and pour acid all over it and set it on fire and ground it out in a pile of dog shit and then take a picture of it and send it to his mother.