Cars turn people into assholes.
Perfectly lovely, kind, considerate people are transformed into abject jerks the minute they get behind the wheel. They know they are being assholes, so they pretend they can't see you as they pull out of the laundromat parking lot just inches from you and your dog, who happen to be walking on the sidewalk. These self-same people, who are your neighbors, will drive 40 MPH on your residential street while talking on the phone and then give you the finger for being there, on foot.
I have a message for all yall who turn into assholes when you get in your car:
I remember you.
I saw you seeing me and pretending not to.
Your car does not make you anonymous, or invisible, or less accountable for your actions, dumbass.
You will not be remembered for being a good mother. You will not be remembered for being a loving daughter. Your abilities as a watercolor artist will be lost. Your excellent corn pie? Natch. You will be remembered for trying to run down an 11 year old dog across the street from a park. That is what I will I remember about you.
I'll see you in hell.
You heard me.
Also: get off the phone.
3 comments:
Yes, I have witnessed this behavior too! Its as if the concept of accountability is null and void these days. I've got a good mind to get a custom license plate that says "Consequences" or some such thing. Maybe better yet, "Karma, Asshole" that's a bit too long too...
Hey here's an idea, make up a neighborhood traffic ticket and put it on offending neighbor's cars.
Oh, one thing that makes offending drivers fill their skivvies quick is a camera. Just take a picture of them in their offense or as the drive off. I like doing that or staring and pointing at them (a la Invasion of the Body Snatchers - the late 70s version)
Of course a Bazooka is a good choice too.
Didn't you know? That new car smell? It's a chemical agent specially formulated to attack the common-sense/accountability/respect centers of the brain. That's also why they sell it in little bottles at Schucks, so that when it wheres off you can replenish it and keep being an asshole.
(um. . .that's "wears off", folks. sorry.
Post a Comment